aku masih di sini

Aku di sini,
tetap sendiri
memegang teguh janjiMu.

Kulihat kebelakang,
ada banyak hal yang membuatku belajar.
Kesalahan memang guru yang terbaik.
Buatku ingat dan tidak mengulanginya lagi.

Kulihat diriku yang berjuang
untuk tidak mengulangi kesalahan yang sama.
Tapi nyatanya, aku jatuh di lubang yang lain.
Aku jatuh, dan terluka.

Beribu simpati datang.
Namun yang dapat membuatku berdiri
hanyalah diriku sendiri.

Aku coba untuk berdiri,
mencoba membersihkan luka ini
mencoba memaafkan si pembuat lubang.

Aku harus terus berjalan
di tengah ketidakpastian dunia
di tengah hiruk pikuk kebahagiannya
di tengah keceriaan semu yang ditawarkan
dan tangis penderitaan di sekitarku.

Aku lelah berharap.
Bahkan lelah berjalan.

Ya, aku masih di sini.
aku kembali ke jalan ini.
Jalan yang kurasa tak berujung.
Jalan penuh liku, penantian dan harapan.

Namun ada satu suara.
Ia membisikan sesuatu dalam hatiku
"sabar", katanya.
Dan akupun mencoba bertahan
dengan sekuat tenaga.

Ya, aku masih di sini.
Aku masih menanti keajaiban
dengan segala kekuatan yang kumiliki.
Aku masih di sini.
Menanti untuk diobati.
Menanti datangnya hari
saat pelangiku tiba.

A Chat with God

God: Hello. Did you call me?

Me: Called you? No, who is this?

God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good.

I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time.

Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy.

But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time.

Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out.

By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me

on instant messaging chat.

God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time,

by giving you some clarity. In this net era,

I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it.

Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy?

God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.

You are worrying because you are analyzing.

Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.

God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction.

Gold cannot be purified without fire.

Good people go through trials, but don't suffer.

With that experience their life becomes better not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher.

She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests?

Why can't we be free from problems?

God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering

Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength.

Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance,

not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems,

we don't know where we are heading.

God: If you look outside you will not know where

you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream.

Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt

more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God: Success is a measure as decided by others.

Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you.

Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than

knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass.

Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God: Always look at how far you have come rather than

how far you have to go. Always count your blessing,

not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?

God: When they suffer they ask, "why me?"

When they prosper, they never ask "Why me".

Everyone wishes to have truth on their side,

but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.

God: Seek not to find who you are,

but to determine who you want to be.

Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here.

Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God: Face your past without regret.

Handle your present with confidence.

Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God: There are no unanswered prayers.

At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.

I am so happy to start the day with a new sense of inspiration.

God: Well, Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs.

Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve.

Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

Best wishes for a good day.

Love is Enough

Love is Enough!

by Ronald Steven on Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 10:00pm

LOVE IS ENOUGH !

Love asks for everything, not just for a little bit, or a whole lot, but for everything...

Love is not judgemental, not blind, love sees clearly, but covers

Love covers everything ...

To grow to love someone wholly is, to be able to open up to each other, to be yourself and express your feelings without fear,

to be willing to get to know and try to understand each other,

to lay down all your worries,

to risk yourself of getting hurt and yet still choose not to be affected of it and move on,

to learn to give but not to expect anything in return (unconditional),

to sacrifice your needs in order for him/her to be happy,

to trust and believe in him/her no matter what,

to choose to be in love when you have problems,

to be brave enough to solve the problems, and then let go and move on,

to learn to totally surrender yourself to each other and have no dignity at all (coz only then, humiliation and sarcasm means nothing anymore).

Because after all, love covers everything. Love does not try to make someone a duplicate of the other,

love accepts someone for what he/she is.

And the force of love itself is able to make you want to be a better person for the other.

Nobody in the world is perfect, but love makes a person perfect to the other when he/she accepts her/him wholly, despite her/his flaws.

----------------------------

The saddest thing in love is to think that you have something but then you look at the person’s eyes and realize that you have nothing.

But then again, love is risky and love is foolish.

Yet I believe that it is worthed to risk everything for love, because generally, love is the greatest thing that ever happened in this world.

In fact, it is because of love that this world is created.

If you have Love, it will be enough ... love is enough

My Prayer :)

Lord,
I pray for a man, that will be a part of my life
A man that really loves YOU more than everything
A man that will put me in the second place of his heart
A man that lives not for himself but for YOU
The most important is
I want a heart that really loves and thirsty of YOU
And have a desire to be like JESUS

And he must know for whom and for what he lives
So his life is not useless
Someone that has a wise heart
Not only a smart brain
A man that not only loves me but also respect me
A man that not only adore me
But can warn me when I am wrong
A man that loves me not because of my beauty
but my heart
A man that can be my best friend
in every time and situation
A man that make me feel like a woman
when I am beside him

I do not ask for a perfect man
But I ask for an imperfect man

A man that needs my support for his strength
A man that needs my prayer for his life
A man that needs my smile to cover his sadness
A man that needs my love so he feels being loved
A man that needs me to make his life beautiful

And I also ask
Make me be a woman that can make him proud
Give me a heart that really loves YOU
So I can love him with Your Love
Not love him with my love
Give me Your gentle spirit
So my beauty doesn't come from my outside
but come from YOU

Give me Your hands
That I always be able to pray for him
Give me Your eyes
So I can see many good things in him
and not the bad one
Give me Your mouth
that is filled with Your words
of wisdom and encouragement
So I can support him everyday
Give me Your lips
And I will smile at him every morning

And I want that when we finally meet
Both of us can say
How great Thou Art
I know that You want us to meet at the right time
And You will make everything beautiful in Your time
Amen

-Grace Suryani-

Apakah Aku Harus Berhenti?

Suatu hari aku memutuskan untuk berhenti.
Berhenti dari pekerjaanku, berhenti dari hubunganku dengan sesama
dan berhenti dari spiritualitasku.
Aku pergi ke hutan untuk bicara dengan Tuhan untuk yang terakhir kalinya.
"Tuhan", kataku, "Berikan aku satu alasan untuk tidak berhenti?"

Dia memberi jawaban yang mengejutkanku.
"Lihat ke sekelilingmu", kataNya.

"Apakah engkau memperhatikan tanaman pakis dan bambu yang ada dihutan ini?"

"Ya", jawabku.

Lalu Tuhan berkata, "Ketika pertama kali Aku menanam mereka,
Aku menanam dan merawat benih-benih mereka dengan seksama.
Aku beri mereka cahaya, Aku beri mereka air,
pakis-pakis itu tumbuh dengan sangat cepat
warna hijaunya yang menawan menutupi tanah namun,
tidak Ada yang terjadi dari benih bambu
tapi Aku tidak berhenti merawatnya.

Dalam tahun kedua,
pakis-pakis itu tumbuh lebih cepat dan lebih banyak lagi.
Namun, tetap tidak ada yang terjadi dari benih bambu.
Tetapi Aku tidak menyerah terhadapnya.

Dalam tahun ketiga tetap tidak ada yang tumbuh dari benih bambu itu,
tapi Aku tetap tidak menyerah begitu juga dengan tahun ke empat.

Lalu pada tahun ke lima
sebuah tunas yang kecil muncul dari dalam tanah.
Dibandingkan dengan pakis,
tunas itu kelihatan begitu kecil dan sepertinya tidak berarti.

Namun enam tahun kemudian,
bambu ini tumbuh dengan mencapai ketinggian lebih dari 100 kaki.
Dia membutuhkan waktu lima tahun untuk menumbuhkan akar-akarnya.

Akar-akar itu membuat dia kuat dan memberikan
apa yang dia butuhkan untuk bertahan.
Aku tidak akan memberikan ciptaanku tantangan
yang tidak bisa mereka tangani."

"Tahukan engkau anakKu, dari semua waktu pergumulanmu,
sebenarnya engkau sedang menumbuhkan akar-akarmu?
Aku tidak menyerah terhadap bambu itu,
Aku juga tidak akan pernah menyerah terhadapmu."

Tuhan berkata "Jangan bandingkan dirimu dengan orang lain.
Bambu-bambu itu memiliki tujuan yang berbeda
dibandingkan dengan pakis
tapi keduanya tetap membuat hutan ini menjadi lebih indah."

"Saat mu akan tiba", Tuhan mengatakan itu kepadaku.

"Engkau akan tumbuh sangat tinggi"

"Seberapa tinggi aku harus bertumbuh Tuhan?" tanyaku.

"Sampai seberapa tinggi bambu-bambu itu dapat tumbuh?"Tuhan balik bertanya.

"Setinggi yang mereka mampu?" aku bertanya.

"Ya." jawabNya, "Muliakan Aku dengan pertumbuhanmu, setinggi yang engkau dapat capai."

Lalu aku pergi meninggalkan hutan itu,
menyadari bahwa Allah tidak akan pernah menyerah terhadapku
dan Dia juga tidak akan pernah menyerah terhadap anda.
Jangan pernah menyesali hidup yang saat ini anda jalani
sekalipun itu hanya untuk satu hari.

Hari-hari yang baik memberikan kebahagiaan;
hari-hari yang kurang baik memberi pengalaman;
kedua-duanya memberi arti bagi kehidupan ini.

Because i'm a girl-kiss

It's impossible to understand what's going through a guy's heart
You told me that you wanted me
And now that I've given you everything, you tell me you're leaving
You told me that it was the first time you felt this way
And said that I was special
I believed in you..and it was my happiness

They say that when you give a guy all he wants
He quickly gets bored
And now I know that's the truth..
And although I tell myself, I'll never be tricked by love again
I fall in love and my heart is broke again

Please don't break the hearts of girls, who'll do anything for love
I didn't know that living this life while being loved would be so hard

You should have told me that your feeling had faded
I had no idea and I continued to depend on you
Although I say I hate you now, I'll be missing you
Because I'm a girl, to whom love is everything

horrible story of love

Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable.
It opens your chest and it opens up your heart
and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses,
you build up a whole suit of armor,
so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person,
no different from any other stupid person,
wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you.
They didn't ask for it.
They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you,
and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness,
so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind.
It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
I hate love.